Kristen Stewart Has Political Enemies

 

Kristen Stewart

Stars say the darnedest things! They also say the dumbest things, like everything that comes out of Mel Gibson’s hairy mouthhole and the time Kristen Stewart likened wearing a $3000 dress and walking the red carpet to being raped. Several rape awareness groups told Kristen she was being a dipshit, and she apologized, so now she’s using a different simile to describe her harrowing, agonizing life as the beloved millionaire star of a successful film franchise. Via Popeater:

“I don’t feel very comfortable on the red carpet,” [Stewart] said. “I look out there at a thousand people and I realize they could rush me and assassinate me. No security could protect me. Ostensibly they’re fans, but I think about them turning on me.”

Yes, she’s exactly like the Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr. They ended slavery and pushed for civil rights and Kristen Stewart bit her lip in a bunch of movies and mimed kissing a guy with glitter glued to his chest. She’s a regular Benazir Bhutto, that one.